Saturday, March 26, 2011

to my son

Oliver,

I met a little boy today. He's such a fun kid, full of energy, spunk and laughter. He's your age you know, born the same month as you. Yeah, he just turned 5 a couple of weeks ago, and I realised tonight that he was just a tiny baby at your funeral. Your Dadda and his Daddy were friends when they were kids, so I reckon you would have been great friends with this fun little guy too.

Your big sister had a great time playing with him and his little brother tonight. I'm sure you would have had a ball too. There was Lego all over the place! Trucks and fire engines, pirate ships and airplanes. Even Lego Indiana Jones on the wii!

I sometimes wonder what kind of little man you would be now. Would you be cheeky or stubborn? Would you be rambunctious or maybe a bit timid? Would you like Lego like your cousins do, or maybe airplanes and trains? Grubs and bugs or footy and racing cars?

I should be organizing a birthday party for you for this week, instead I'm planning on just keeping busy so that the reality of the day won't be so suffocating.

I just want to sing happy birthday to you and see a larger than life smile fill up your gorgeous little face, to see you make a birthday wish, to eat chocolate cake together.

To hug you, even just once.

I love you son, and wished you knew just how much I miss you.

Mumma xo


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6 comments:

  1. After sitting here for 5 minutes looking at the screen Nik, I cant find any words that sounds right. But I wanted to let you know, that all 5 of you have been on my mind. xx luv kell xx

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  2. Tears in my eyes Nikki. Thank you for sharing openly how you are feeling. Sending much love to you and heaps of hugs. I love you, love your heart which is so so beautiful. Bless you my friend. love, Steph xoXO

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  3. He knows.. and he is smiling.. and waiting for your embrace once again. I bet he is missing you just as much.. xxx He is never far away xxx

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  4. What beautiful words from a gorgeous and loving mumma. Your precious little man knows and misses you just the same. Love you xxx

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  5. this made me cry. becoming a mother has made me soft, but ironically at the same time, stronger.
    kirstyn

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  6. Beautiful post Noo. So beautiful. I think of him often watching our broods play and think that he would be teaching Ash a thing or two about playing and being adventurous. Love you guys xoxoxo

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