Saturday, March 26, 2011

to my son


I met a little boy today. He's such a fun kid, full of energy, spunk and laughter. He's your age you know, born the same month as you. Yeah, he just turned 5 a couple of weeks ago, and I realised tonight that he was just a tiny baby at your funeral. Your Dadda and his Daddy were friends when they were kids, so I reckon you would have been great friends with this fun little guy too.

Your big sister had a great time playing with him and his little brother tonight. I'm sure you would have had a ball too. There was Lego all over the place! Trucks and fire engines, pirate ships and airplanes. Even Lego Indiana Jones on the wii!

I sometimes wonder what kind of little man you would be now. Would you be cheeky or stubborn? Would you be rambunctious or maybe a bit timid? Would you like Lego like your cousins do, or maybe airplanes and trains? Grubs and bugs or footy and racing cars?

I should be organizing a birthday party for you for this week, instead I'm planning on just keeping busy so that the reality of the day won't be so suffocating.

I just want to sing happy birthday to you and see a larger than life smile fill up your gorgeous little face, to see you make a birthday wish, to eat chocolate cake together.

To hug you, even just once.

I love you son, and wished you knew just how much I miss you.

Mumma xo

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  1. After sitting here for 5 minutes looking at the screen Nik, I cant find any words that sounds right. But I wanted to let you know, that all 5 of you have been on my mind. xx luv kell xx

  2. Tears in my eyes Nikki. Thank you for sharing openly how you are feeling. Sending much love to you and heaps of hugs. I love you, love your heart which is so so beautiful. Bless you my friend. love, Steph xoXO

  3. He knows.. and he is smiling.. and waiting for your embrace once again. I bet he is missing you just as much.. xxx He is never far away xxx

  4. What beautiful words from a gorgeous and loving mumma. Your precious little man knows and misses you just the same. Love you xxx

  5. this made me cry. becoming a mother has made me soft, but ironically at the same time, stronger.

  6. Beautiful post Noo. So beautiful. I think of him often watching our broods play and think that he would be teaching Ash a thing or two about playing and being adventurous. Love you guys xoxoxo


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