Wednesday, March 28, 2012

a gift for her brother

This afternoon we made our yearly pilgrimage of sorts, to seek out a bear for Oliver's birthday.  A long walk down the big hill near our home into our little town, spending the late morning with the girls looking in all the shops.  Our trip today included lunch and a quick cuppa at our favourite local ice cream shop.  A perfect day to just be together and enjoy the sunshine and for me to let my thoughts rest on the blessings around me.

Our pilgrimage has become a tradition now.  We head out sometime either before or on Oliver's birthday and search for a small bear to buy in honour of his special day.  While we were walking down town this morning, we talked about heaven, about Oliver.  I was able to explain what happened to him again, and why he's not here with us.  All the while I'm sure LittleBee's heart and mind were set on finding the most perfect gift.

The little store we visited was filled with an array of stuffed toys.  LittleBee flited from basket to shelf, turning over each toy lovingly, searching the price tag thoughtfully, just waiting for the most perfect one.  The shop owner pointed LittleBee over to a cute little golden puppy, sitting on a shelf all on his own.  Immediately LittleBee's eyes lit up.  "This is the one Mum"...

Meet Monty

Tomorrow marks six years since we gave birth to our precious boy and said goodbye four short hours later.

LittleBee was only 2 and a half at the time.

I think it has become a bit of a healing tool for LittleBee.  We had a chat about it on the way home (the BIG trek UP the hill again!!!) and she said that it doesn't make her feel sad.  It makes her think about Oliver and all she really wants is to make sure that he is happy to be getting a present on his birthday.  Because in her beautiful, innocent, eight year old logic, Oliver will be watching us tomorrow and if we don't have a gift for him, he might be sad.

And no one should be sad on their birthday.


  1. Oh dear friend,
    Sitting here with tears streaming after reading your beautiful post remembering your little boy Oliver. Grateful for the amazing mumma you are, for the way you open your heart and share your journey here with us. Sending you great big hugs. love you. Glad you and the girls found just the right puppy for Oliver.
    Big hugs and lots of love,
    Steph xoXO

  2. Thank you so much for your love Steph. It means the world to me xxoo

  3. Oh Nik. I cant see the keyboard for the tears. Not sure what I want to say, just that I have read this and I love you.


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