Tuesday, October 28, 2014

rainbow cupcakes

We made some rainbow cupcakes today in honour of you, our little rainbow who couldn't stay.  Today marks two years since we met you and said goodbye.

I imagined you pulling on the ties of my apron, while I stood at the bench mixing colours.  I pictured your chubby little fingers getting into the batter.  I wanted to hear your sweet little voice plead for "more" and squeal with delight as you licked the last of the batter from the spoon. 

All the wonderful things your big sister got to share with me today as we made these for you.

With icing in your dark brown hair and sprinkles stuck to your chubby cheeks, I can only wonder what today would have been like if you were here with us to celebrate your special day.

Happy birthday sweet little son.  We love you and miss you so very much.

Monday, October 20, 2014

the day our family grew

We had a little secret we were keeping to ourselves.  A little secret that we were intending to reveal late last week.

The secret was that our family was about to grow in the most blissful and delightful way... we were expecting a sweet little baby in March of 2015.

LadyBug loving on Mumma's baby bump, 15w1d

The plan was to go to our routine 19 week ultrasound last Wednesday, and come back all thrilled to know that our little one is growing safe and sound, and without any issues, and then probably come up with some whacky or cheesy Facebook announcement to share our wonderful news with the world.

Sadly, the scan showed that some time in the past 2-4 weeks, our little baby had silently passed away. As the Dr revealed her findings to me,  I lay there stunned, completely stunned that once again our family is facing the heartbreaking loss of another loved and very much wanted child.

Thursday was a grey and miserable looking day outside, the perfect reflection of how we were feeling.  With heavy hearts, Hubby and I welcomed our little one into the world at around 3:55pm.

We named her Ezra Lily.

Now instead of planning a baby shower or deciding on nursery colour schemes, we are making decisions on how to remember our sweet little girl, and trying to help her big sisters understand as they come to terms with this heartbreaking loss.

Thursday October 16, 2014... the day that we will always remember as being the day that our family grew, as our little Ezra joined her brothers in the arms of Jesus.

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